










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2161 | 49% |
| Smokes | 710 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1392 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 188 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,839 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fezz (TTV/fezzsnezz) | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Flashback | 46% | 119 |
| #3 | -moT- | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | t.tv/Dadzazel | 45% | 124 |
| #5 | Cpt. John Mice | 41% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Flashback | 46% | 119 |
| #3 | -moT- | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | t.tv/Dadzazel | 45% | 124 |
| #5 | Cpt. John Mice | 41% | 104 |
| #6 | Squif | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t.tv/Dadzazel | 27 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Flashback | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Cpt. John Mice | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Squif | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Fezz (TTV/fezzsnezz) | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. John Mice | 431 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | t.tv/Dadzazel | 232 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Flashback | 162 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Squif | 125 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | -moT- | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -moT- | +4.89 | 67 | 58 |
| #2 | t.tv/Dadzazel | +2.07 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | Squif | +0.46 | 52 | 58 |
| #4 | Flashback | +0.11 | 76 | 49 |
| #5 | Cpt. John Mice | -1.40 | 37 | 62 |





