








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 975 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1037 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2438 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2066 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,448 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1025 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snackysnac | 69% | 45 |
| #2 | cate | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | tropical | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Generic | 54% | 110 |
| #5 | USSR-DDoS | 54% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Generic | 54% | 110 |
| #5 | USSR-DDoS | 54% | 293 |
| #6 | капустка-PEEK swagst3r | 49% | 75 |
| #7 | SpFoLi | 42% | 59 |
| #8 | chill weed vibes | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USSR-DDoS | 30 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Generic | 20 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | chill weed vibes | 8 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | капустка-PEEK swagst3r | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | SpFoLi | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USSR-DDoS | 160 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #2 | Generic | 138 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | SpFoLi | 99 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | tropical | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | cate | 97 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USSR-DDoS | +6.80 | 90 | 38 |
| #2 | cate | +0.90 | 49 | 58 |
| #3 | Generic | +0.70 | 79 | 39 |
| #4 | CrowEnjoyer | -0.20 | 71 | 38 |
| #5 | капустка-PEEK swagst3r | -1.57 | 63 | 21 |





