








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1000 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3751 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5291 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3746 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4427 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,002,233 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpFoLi | 56% | 93 |
| #2 | USSR-DDoS | 56% | 151 |
| #3 | CrowEnjoyer | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Kaos\ayer | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | Papito :3 | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Oleander | 43% | 51 |
| #9 | Snackysnac | 43% | 40 |
| #10 | cate | 42% | 52 |
| #11 | 釘ust Oliver | 41% | 58 |
| #12 | DroolingOnU | 37% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papito :3 | 29 | 0.0364 |
| #2 | SpFoLi | 18 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | CrowEnjoyer | 17 | 0.0191 |
| #4 | DroolingOnU | 16 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | The Bee Keeper♡ | 11 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DroolingOnU | 363 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | The Bee Keeper♡ | 338 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Oleander | 220 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | SpFoLi | 217 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | cate | 210 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USSR-DDoS | +8.69 | 86 | 43 |
| #2 | Oleander | +3.14 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | Kaos\ayer | +1.24 | 76 | 41 |
| #4 | The Bee Keeper♡ | +0.96 | 37 | 47 |
| #5 | cate | +0.92 | 48 | 57 |





