








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 511 | 27% |
| Smokes | 559 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 419 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 436 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,719 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yilnobeinmateem | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | quinn | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | JME bets.gg csgonecro.com | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Josh | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | lachlaN | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quinn | 6 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | yilnobeinmateem | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | JME bets.gg csgonecro.com | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Bampot | 1 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | lachlaN | 1 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh | 143 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Silence | 117 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | yilnobeinmateem | 93 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | t0p8uzz | 75 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | quinn | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yilnobeinmateem | +4.58 | 93 | 65 |
| #2 | Bampot | +3.97 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | quinn | +3.05 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | lachlaN | +2.80 | 90 | 65 |
| #5 | rayzr | +2.63 | 78 | 65 |





