








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3158 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2695 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1449 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2071 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,126 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timothy | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Lawyer Pie | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | CyborgAFK | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | ุุุBAREFOOTER | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Kise | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | itz_Sic | 50% | 24 |
| #10 | mason | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | Poosycat | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | SuperR0ck | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | dabearSHARK | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dabearSHARK | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Poosycat | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Kise | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | SuperR0ck | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Pope Steve VI | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itz_Sic | 87 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Poosycat | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kise | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | SuperR0ck | 39 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | ุุุBAREFOOTER | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mason | +3.34 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | SuperR0ck | +1.68 | 28 | 67 |
| #3 | Timothy | +1.47 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | John | +1.40 | 68 | 77 |
| #5 | Kise | +0.15 | 83 | 50 |





