








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1617 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2103 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1005 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,318 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Banshee | 47% | 38 |
| #7 | humble soft spoken white boy | 46% | 91 |
| #8 | Corona | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | uzimode | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | Slick | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toji | 25 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | humble soft spoken white boy | 21 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | IHaveNoHands69 | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | yung crete | 13 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | Banshee | 5 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IHaveNoHands69 | 616 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Toji | 400 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Swift | 135 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | humble soft spoken white boy | 107 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Slick | 79 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toji | +3.08 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | Slick | +1.14 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | Kansil | +1.06 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | IHaveNoHands69 | +0.91 | 57 | 44 |
| #5 | uzimode | +0.73 | 70 | 20 |





