








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 525 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8399 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9501 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5615 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6420 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,867,333 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woe # | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | tardus | 59% | 201 |
| #3 | Bartek99 | 58% | 72 |
| #4 | J a y K | 56% | 180 |
| #5 | zzep | 53% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woe # | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | tardus | 59% | 201 |
| #3 | Bartek99 | 58% | 72 |
| #4 | J a y K | 56% | 180 |
| #5 | zzep | 53% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tardus | 36 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | J a y K | 23 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | zzep | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Bartek99 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J a y K | 681 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | tardus | 446 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | zzep | 326 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | woe # | 137 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bartek99 | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzep | +3.66 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | tardus | +1.25 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | J a y K | +0.38 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | ma4ve | +0.04 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | Bartek99 | -1.09 | 52 | 50 |





