








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 992 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7647 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5842 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4382 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5494 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,547,485 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 586 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kou | 72% | 46 |
| #2 | tardus | 61% | 275 |
| #3 | kurp | 57% | 120 |
| #4 | zzep | 57% | 520 |
| #5 | ma4ve | 56% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | woe # | 52% | 150 |
| #7 | Tesco self checkout machine | 49% | 85 |
| #8 | Alternate | 49% | 171 |
| #9 | x1trap | 49% | 113 |
| #10 | Arbosa | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tardus | 38 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | zzep | 31 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Alternate | 30 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | ma4ve | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | woe # | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzep | 854 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #2 | ma4ve | 639 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | tardus | 558 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | woe # | 438 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | kurp | 341 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzep | +4.13 | 91 | 51 |
| #2 | J a y K | +0.92 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | tardus | -0.11 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | kurp | -0.13 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | ma4ve | -0.20 | 77 | 66 |





