








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2315 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2505 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1988 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2165 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,274 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tardus | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | coffeh | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | ma4ve | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | Bitter patern | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | kabbe | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alternate | 14 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | J a y K | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | zzep | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ma4ve | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | x1trap | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J a y K | 616 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | zzep | 317 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | ma4ve | 181 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | kurp | 124 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Arbosa | 103 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzep | +4.86 | 92 | 53 |
| #2 | Bitter patern | +1.98 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | J a y K | +0.27 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | tardus | +0.14 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | kurp | +0.01 | 83 | 62 |





