








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2257 | 40% |
| Smokes | 807 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1418 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1125 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,859 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeRt | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | jeroin hunkie | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Wu-Tang Clang | 65% | 51 |
| #4 | Kanye East | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | filip | 59% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Stormie | 58% | 55 |
| #8 | cJR_McPyro | 53% | 15 |
| #9 | ajaws1 | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | dartman | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | Fragon | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | filip | 9 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Stormie | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Jordan | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ajaws1 | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Fragon | 2 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | filip | 280 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | Stormie | 123 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Wu-Tang Clang | 92 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jordan | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kanye East | 61 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chicken | +1.95 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | Fragon | +1.92 | 93 | 66 |
| #3 | filip | +1.90 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | Wu-Tang Clang | +1.12 | 68 | 52 |
| #5 | jeroin hunkie | +0.79 | 79 | 48 |





