








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 512 | 19% |
| Smokes | 612 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 431 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1107 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,594 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proxi | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | ProfileUnknownTV | 53% | 88 |
| #3 | Haovk | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Clout | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Hei (Jman) | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ProfileUnknownTV | 53% | 88 |
| #3 | Haovk | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Clout | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Hei (Jman) | 48% | 58 |
| #6 | V1RuS - Road to GN1 | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProfileUnknownTV | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Haovk | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Hei (Jman) | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProfileUnknownTV | 293 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hei (Jman) | 209 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Haovk | 189 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | V1RuS - Road to GN1 | 98 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | Clout | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haovk | +2.65 | 78 | 51 |
| #2 | V1RuS - Road to GN1 | +0.93 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | ProfileUnknownTV | +0.87 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | Hei (Jman) | +0.54 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | Proxi | +0.29 | 59 | 58 |





