








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2674 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1903 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1223 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1937 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $593,062 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | partoniic | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | KWXJ | 67% | 66 |
| #3 | Pewster | 65% | 88 |
| #4 | Bank | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | Girthquake | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Jynx | 42% | 12 |
| #18 | Darke- | 41% | 41 |
| #19 | Hei (Jman) | 40% | 15 |
| #20 | Hoozh | 38% | 13 |
| #21 | kay225 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darke- | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ProfileUnknownTV | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Haovk | 3 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | nrb | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Syrups | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pewster | 398 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | KWXJ | 314 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mega | 157 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ethanol | 156 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | xking | 128 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nrb | +4.03 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | Haovk | +3.42 | 82 | 33 |
| #3 | Hoozh | +2.31 | 93 | 56 |
| #4 | Pewster | +1.98 | 81 | 70 |
| #5 | Ethanol | +1.95 | 80 | 77 |





