








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1292 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2561 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2684 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2946 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,131,769 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | AccidentallyAwesome | 55% | 65 |
| #7 | VoidPoro | 54% | 257 |
| #8 | 「ZHOLEE」 | 54% | 170 |
| #9 | ShawnyBoi | 53% | 259 |
| #10 | Tall_Man_Dan | 35% | 20 |





