








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 390 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1703 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4942 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3659 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3993 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,048 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jocke447 | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Im Fred | 54% | 170 |
| #3 | Lycan | 53% | 259 |
| #4 | VoidPoro | 52% | 316 |
| #5 | ShawnyBoi | 51% | 304 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | VoidPoro | 52% | 316 |
| #5 | ShawnyBoi | 51% | 304 |
| #6 | King Freddy | 49% | 230 |
| #7 | Coman!! | 48% | 79 |
| #8 | AccidentallyAwesome | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoidPoro | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | King Freddy | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ShawnyBoi | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Im Fred | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Lycan | 10 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lycan | 822 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | ShawnyBoi | 805 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #3 | VoidPoro | 572 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | King Freddy | 443 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | Im Fred | 304 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jocke447 | +5.06 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | Im Fred | +1.54 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | King Freddy | +1.11 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | Lycan | +1.00 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | VoidPoro | -0.23 | 63 | 52 |





