








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3189 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3641 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4175 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3916 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,790 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im Fred | 58% | 127 |
| #2 | VoidPoro | 55% | 239 |
| #3 | ShawnyBoi | 53% | 227 |
| #4 | 「ZHOLEE」 | 53% | 259 |
| #5 | AccidentallyAwesome | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ShawnyBoi | 53% | 227 |
| #4 | 「ZHOLEE」 | 53% | 259 |
| #5 | AccidentallyAwesome | 49% | 51 |
| #6 | King Freddy | 49% | 167 |
| #7 | Coman!! | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoidPoro | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ShawnyBoi | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | King Freddy | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Im Fred | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | 「ZHOLEE」 | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShawnyBoi | 565 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | VoidPoro | 419 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | 「ZHOLEE」 | 366 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | King Freddy | 321 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Im Fred | 238 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im Fred | +1.91 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | King Freddy | +1.01 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Lycan | +0.69 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | VoidPoro | +0.06 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | 「ZHOLEE」 | -0.22 | 70 | 45 |





