








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1349 | 41% |
| Smokes | 733 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 349 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 874 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,775 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramly | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | Bob's Discount Furniture | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Quon | 50% | 90 |
| #4 | Stomp | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | TaxOfAsian | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bob's Discount Furniture | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Quon | 50% | 90 |
| #4 | Stomp | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | TaxOfAsian | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | spartan117g3 | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quon | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Stomp | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Ramly | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | TaxOfAsian | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quon | 212 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Stomp | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ramly | 114 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | spartan117g3 | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bob's Discount Furniture | 22 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Key | +4.77 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | Bob's Discount Furniture | +1.02 | 47 | 52 |
| #3 | Quon | -0.87 | 36 | 53 |
| #4 | Ramly | -1.28 | 49 | 45 |
| #5 | Stomp | -1.38 | 46 | 23 |





