








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 170 | 30% |
| Smokes | 102 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 79 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 215 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $29,209 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TaxOfAsian | 33% | 21 |
| #2 | Quon | 32% | 34 |
| #3 | Stomp | 31% | 26 |
| #4 | Key | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | Ramly | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TaxOfAsian | 33% | 21 |
| #2 | Quon | 32% | 34 |
| #3 | Stomp | 31% | 26 |
| #4 | Key | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | Ramly | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quon | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | TaxOfAsian | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Key | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quon | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Key | 63 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Stomp | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ramly | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | TaxOfAsian | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Key | +4.11 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | Ramly | -0.03 | 46 | 40 |
| #3 | Quon | -0.25 | 44 | 48 |
| #4 | Stomp | -0.89 | 48 | 30 |
| #5 | TaxOfAsian | -2.58 | 21 | 13 |





