








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3624 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3767 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1547 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2804 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,400 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malevolent Kitchen | 80% | 25 |
| #2 | luke | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | StormX | 70% | 30 |
| #4 | RGAR | 65% | 92 |
| #5 | grag | 56% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RGAR | 65% | 92 |
| #5 | grag | 56% | 64 |
| #6 | Dafish | 55% | 44 |
| #7 | meowmeowmeowmrow | 52% | 50 |
| #8 | oomi | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grag | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Dafish | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | StormX | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Malevolent Kitchen | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | RGAR | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RGAR | 410 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | grag | 254 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | meowmeowmeowmrow | 131 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | luke | 99 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dafish | 98 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malevolent Kitchen | +4.09 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | luke | +2.29 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | oomi | +2.04 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | RGAR | +1.52 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | grag | +0.90 | 79 | 69 |





