








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2571 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2895 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2644 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2723 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,923 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JapaneseMuscle | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | OpuR3 | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Christian Steiffen | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | DaL. | 66% | 35 |
| #5 | ☆SleepingPanda☆ | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3nt0 | 162 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | schlabbersabber | 159 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | zMilad | 139 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | 107 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jean Claudé VacBan | 65 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dallmayr | +6.12 | 94 | 46 |
| #2 | DaL. | +6.00 | 89 | 51 |
| #3 | OpuR3 | +4.64 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | +4.27 | 68 | 78 |
| #5 | ☆SleepingPanda☆ | +3.63 | 82 | 49 |





