








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4319 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5799 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4809 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3102 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,321,529 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 704 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaL. | 67% | 51 |
| #2 | Christian Steiffen | 61% | 69 |
| #3 | jNs | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | JapaneseMuscle | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | SyntaxG | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Zailito | 47% | 45 |
| #17 | XxxLouisxxX | 43% | 35 |
| #18 | aGe | 42% | 71 |
| #19 | Jay.C.Jay | 40% | 43 |
| #20 | alex | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zMilad | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | schlabbersabber | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Graf von Monte Disco | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Crazy Brazy | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | 928 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #2 | zMilad | 551 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | schlabbersabber | 519 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Graf von Monte Disco | 439 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | Crazy Brazy | 432 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dallmayr | +6.06 | 91 | 46 |
| #2 | DaL. | +5.33 | 90 | 52 |
| #3 | Holger SpastenbergerG | +4.59 | 81 | 82 |
| #4 | SyntaxG | +4.23 | 74 | 79 |
| #5 | Crazy Brazy | +3.00 | 66 | 74 |





