








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1272 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2116 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1869 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1241 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,277,217 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aGe | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | paN | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | 68% | 38 |
| #4 | B3nt0 | 67% | 51 |
| #5 | ---mUcK!--- | 66% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zMilad | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jean Claudé VacBan | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | JapaneseMuscle | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | faxn | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JapaneseMuscle | 433 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | faxn | 314 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | zMilad | 245 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | ez ~ kq | 192 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | 178 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaL. | +4.67 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | paN | +3.15 | 78 | 77 |
| #3 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | +1.63 | 71 | 77 |
| #4 | faxn | +1.06 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | DaBaws | +0.09 | 65 | 68 |





