








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1518 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1304 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1179 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,894 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | run weasley | 48% | 21 |
| #9 | FizzN | 44% | 61 |
| #10 | SneakyPete | 43% | 58 |
| #11 | amplex +} | 39% | 56 |
| #12 | My11en☭ | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SneakyPete | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | FizzN | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Progaard | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | GingerGoneMad | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | amplex +} | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FizzN | 492 | 0.39 | 12 min |
| #2 | Progaard | 136 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | SneakyPete | 127 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rasmus... | 106 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | GingerGoneMad | 99 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Progaard | +3.08 | 67 | 83 |
| #2 | THOMZZHS | +2.66 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | FizzN | +2.16 | 82 | 80 |
| #4 | ♔♔TheNiceCake♔♔ | +1.74 | 54 | 66 |
| #5 | My11en☭ | +1.03 | 63 | 74 |





