








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 315 | 23% |
| Smokes | 406 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 300 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 357 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,176 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vigilante | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | E | 75% | 24 |
| #3 | Ninjaman | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | aj | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | flubbydoo | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | teddy | 54% | 24 |
| #9 | Grillsalat | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | MrWonka | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | zamrok | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | ♡ CKSuli | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ CKSuli | 1 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thommyliciouz | 135 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | aj | 72 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | flubbydoo | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | teddy | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | E | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vigilante | +2.81 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | zamrok | +1.48 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | MrWonka | +1.30 | 86 | 68 |
| #4 | thommyliciouz | +1.23 | 60 | 77 |
| #5 | teddy | +0.90 | 64 | 72 |





