








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1191 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1116 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 691 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,668 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aj | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | waro | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | kallE | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Ninjaman | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | E | 52% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | flubbydoo | 46% | 56 |
| #7 | MrWonka | 43% | 46 |
| #8 | vigilante | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | teddy | 38% | 60 |
| #10 | ♡ CKSuli | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | MrWonka | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrWonka | 146 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | teddy | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | flubbydoo | 93 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | aj | 84 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | waro | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kallE | +0.87 | 58 | 57 |
| #2 | MrWonka | +0.70 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | teddy | +0.58 | 63 | 72 |
| #4 | aj | +0.22 | 73 | 79 |
| #5 | thommyliciouz | +0.08 | 56 | 74 |





