








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 227 | 16% |
| Smokes | 434 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 441 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 321 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,471 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peep0w0 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Schnelli | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | eXo | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | eㄨo | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | Kallemitderkelle | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'NoK´ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Supertoaster | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | eXo | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | HerrPes | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Schnelli | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'NoK´ | 164 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | HerrPes | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | eXo | 66 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Supertoaster | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kallemitderkelle | 58 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peep0w0 | +11.00 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | equalize87 | +3.85 | 82 | 73 |
| #3 | eXo | +3.61 | 55 | 89 |
| #4 | HerrPes | +3.56 | 74 | 83 |
| #5 | Supertoaster | +2.43 | 79 | 44 |





