








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 940 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5528 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4963 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4440 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3529 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,794,304 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eXo | 72% | 39 |
| #2 | 𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐-𝕯𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖓 | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | †ossie†#BesoffskiVallahBILLA | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | HerrPes | 57% | 178 |
| #5 | eㄨo | 56% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HerrPes | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Shaaitan | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | 'NoK´ | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | eㄨo | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Kojima | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'NoK´ | 501 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | HerrPes | 372 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | eㄨo | 358 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Schnelli | 241 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | 𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐-𝕯𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖓 | 211 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eㄨo | +2.90 | 56 | 91 |
| #2 | HerrPes | +2.17 | 75 | 81 |
| #3 | Kallemitderkelle | +1.91 | 70 | 76 |
| #4 | eXo | +1.85 | 62 | 86 |
| #5 | 'NoK´ | +0.96 | 73 | 63 |





