








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




125 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2133 | 45% |
| Smokes | 880 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 992 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 750 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,320 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZiLyfe | 55 | 0.0401 |
| #2 | HE HEY SPORTS | 53 | 0.0255 |
| #3 | atteNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN | 52 | 0.0431 |
| #4 | $ | 48 | 0.0379 |
| #5 | robor | 30 | 0.0314 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atteNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN | 652 | 0.54 | 6 min |
| #2 | HE HEY SPORTS | 641 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #3 | robor | 301 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #4 | ZiLyfe | 265 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | $ | 239 | 0.19 | 3 min |





