








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 922 | 30% |
| Smokes | 795 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 487 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,102 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uuG silv | 55 | 0.0399 |
| #2 | $ | 45 | 0.0368 |
| #3 | atteNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN | 37 | 0.0484 |
| #4 | HE HEY SPORTS | 32 | 0.0296 |
| #5 | robor | 19 | 0.0215 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uuG silv | 391 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | atteNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN | 348 | 0.45 | 4 min |
| #3 | HE HEY SPORTS | 303 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | $ | 172 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | robor | 155 | 0.18 | 2 min |





