








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1396 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1453 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1425 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $386,582 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ponskii | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | JögiBrö | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Donitsit | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | Hepiisi | 52% | 82 |
| #5 | Hunden | 51% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hunden | 51% | 91 |
| #6 | Paco | 50% | 151 |
| #7 | Cyber Bully | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | washbear | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | ScumbagHamster | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunden | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Paco | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Hepiisi | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | JögiBrö | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Donitsit | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunden | 194 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Paco | 139 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Donitsit | 93 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | ScumbagHamster | 92 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | washbear | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JögiBrö | +2.10 | 69 | 44 |
| #2 | Paco | +1.19 | 60 | 49 |
| #3 | Hepiisi | +0.73 | 64 | 48 |
| #4 | Santa | +0.45 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | Hunden | +0.25 | 50 | 59 |





