








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 836 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4099 | 15% |
| Smokes | 12034 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 7723 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3429 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,093,769 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ponskii | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | Cyber Bully | 51% | 59 |
| #3 | Santa | 50% | 151 |
| #4 | Hunden | 50% | 154 |
| #5 | Hepiisi | 49% | 278 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hepiisi | 49% | 278 |
| #6 | washbear | 48% | 398 |
| #7 | Donitsit | 48% | 266 |
| #8 | ScumbagHamster | 43% | 281 |
| #9 | Kalakorva | 41% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScumbagHamster | 21 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | washbear | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Hepiisi | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Hunden | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Donitsit | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScumbagHamster | 1036 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | washbear | 896 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | Donitsit | 570 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #4 | Hunden | 389 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Santa | 272 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paco | +1.15 | 59 | 50 |
| #2 | Cyber Bully | +0.78 | 21 | 74 |
| #3 | Hepiisi | +0.74 | 64 | 45 |
| #4 | Santa | +0.39 | 51 | 64 |
| #5 | Hunden | +0.35 | 55 | 62 |





