








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2734 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2593 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2245 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1110 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,560,284 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santa | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | Hunden | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | Cyber Bully | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Hepiisi | 49% | 171 |
| #5 | Paco | 48% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paco | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | washbear | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ScumbagHamster | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Ponskii | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Hepiisi | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScumbagHamster | 429 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Paco | 308 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | washbear | 300 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kalakorva | 180 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hunden | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paco | +2.20 | 58 | 53 |
| #2 | Hunden | +1.39 | 53 | 64 |
| #3 | Hepiisi | +1.30 | 63 | 46 |
| #4 | Santa | +1.27 | 52 | 63 |
| #5 | Cyber Bully | +1.04 | 25 | 71 |





