








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 2 different maps


Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
36 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 25 | 24% |
| Smokes | 39 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 19 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 20 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $17,200 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zNiKerz | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Janubiss | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | ✪ gulasch | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | HorstderF___er | 20% | 5 |
| #5 | Supraaa | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Janubiss | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | ✪ gulasch | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | HorstderF___er | 20% | 5 |
| #5 | Supraaa | 14% | 7 |
| #6 | Tschan-old | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supraaa | 1 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Janubiss | 1 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ gulasch | 28 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Supraaa | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | HorstderF___er | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Janubiss | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tschan-old | 4 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ gulasch | +4.98 | 94 | 61 |
| #2 | Supraaa | +2.51 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | Tschan-old | +1.20 | 61 | 56 |
| #4 | zNiKerz | -1.33 | 75 | 36 |
| #5 | Janubiss | -2.63 | 58 | 67 |





