








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 305 | 23% |
| Smokes | 411 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 455 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 177 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $217,970 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tokkyu | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | HorstderF___er | 39% | 28 |
| #3 | Supraaa | 38% | 39 |
| #4 | Aut1smo | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | ✪ gulasch | 36% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HorstderF___er | 39% | 28 |
| #3 | Supraaa | 38% | 39 |
| #4 | Aut1smo | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | ✪ gulasch | 36% | 59 |
| #6 | Janubiss | 32% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ gulasch | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Supraaa | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ gulasch | 221 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Supraaa | 124 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Janubiss | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | HorstderF___er | 50 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aut1smo | 25 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ gulasch | +5.21 | 94 | 60 |
| #2 | Supraaa | +1.44 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | Aut1smo | +1.04 | 69 | 40 |
| #4 | tokkyu | +1.03 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Janubiss | -2.50 | 59 | 64 |





