








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 826 | 25% |
| Smokes | 992 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,289 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1mple | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | KKS | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Shirley | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Fred | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | ℝ𝕪𝕚𝕒𝕙 | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | tashenshlampe | 50% | 44 |
| #9 | Tato | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | R0biNbLy4t | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | Treasli | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | ♡♡♡K!ller.Lady*<3 | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tashenshlampe | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | F1mple | 3 | 0.0291 |
| #3 | ℝ𝕪𝕚𝕒𝕙 | 2 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tashenshlampe | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Fred | 37 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | KKS | 32 | 0.40 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chris.kyle | 18 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | F1mple | 16 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -nine1 | +4.42 | 66 | 79 |
| #2 | KKS | +1.43 | 56 | 80 |
| #3 | Chris.kyle | +0.65 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | R0biNbLy4t | -0.31 | 72 | 74 |
| #5 | Fred | -0.51 | 57 | 62 |





