








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1062 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1357 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 686 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1144 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $619,697 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kommi666 | 92% | 12 |
| #2 | Spooky Jinneah | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | 天使 | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Arctic | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Axessor | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | colin | 57% | 37 |
| #13 | Charles Lecroc | 56% | 16 |
| #14 | Mronedeag | 56% | 9 |
| #15 | Archaic | 54% | 24 |
| #16 | Mythik | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primal | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | loltrip | 4 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | sirnerd | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Arctic | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | colin | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primal | 723 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #2 | colin | 122 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Axessor | 119 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | piK | 103 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spooky Jinneah | 85 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoodyman | +2.67 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Spooky Jinneah | +2.08 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | Mythik | +1.97 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | colin | +1.84 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | sirnerd | +1.45 | 65 | 59 |





