








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3251 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2950 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2701 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1511 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,878 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lolicon | 49% | 87 |
| #2 | CaptainGalaxy | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | Miegalius | 48% | 114 |
| #4 | Domccas | 47% | 103 |
| #5 | ExYlas | 46% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExYlas | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Miegalius | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Lolicon | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Weeblet | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Domccas | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Domccas | 340 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Miegalius | 218 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lolicon | 204 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ExYlas | 77 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pipi | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |





