








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2019 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1821 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1461 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1263 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $648,071 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weeblet | 53% | 45 |
| #2 | Lolicon | 53% | 80 |
| #3 | ExYlas | 48% | 91 |
| #4 | Mind3zzas | 47% | 103 |
| #5 | Miegalius | 46% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lolicon | 53% | 80 |
| #3 | ExYlas | 48% | 91 |
| #4 | Mind3zzas | 47% | 103 |
| #5 | Miegalius | 46% | 65 |
| #6 | CaptainGalaxy | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExYlas | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Weeblet | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Mind3zzas | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Miegalius | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | CaptainGalaxy | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mind3zzas | 258 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lolicon | 150 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Miegalius | 128 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Weeblet | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ExYlas | 23 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaptainGalaxy | +0.68 | 85 | 42 |
| #2 | Domccas | +0.22 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | Lolicon | -0.67 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | Mind3zzas | -0.76 | 51 | 65 |
| #5 | ExYlas | -1.13 | 59 | 39 |





