








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 766 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1071 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1107 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3279 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2471 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,077,596 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L$$RD bia lo mi 13042005 | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | kiep | 58% | 107 |
| #3 | M3fju | 55% | 84 |
| #4 | Hajlajt1 | 52% | 109 |
| #5 | L$$RD izakN2O | 49% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Młody SNAX | 566 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | marna czamba | 264 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | kiep | 240 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hajlajt1 | 224 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | L$$RD izakN2O | 221 | 0.09 | 5 min |





