








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1838 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3682 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2532 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3495 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,501,191 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 773 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | »Kittyhawk« | 48% | 65 |
| #7 | Shanks | 41% | 59 |
| #8 | D.V.N.T.N_Dimmi | 36% | 42 |
| #9 | thex | 33% | 24 |
| #10 | PinkFluffyUnicorn | 24% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeltΔ | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | KittyTitty | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | »Kittyhawk« | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | D.V.N.T.N_Dimmi | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | thex | 4 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeltΔ | 274 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Shanks | 181 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Trappist-1e | 121 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | PinkFluffyUnicorn | 96 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | »Kittyhawk« | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |





