








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1337 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1046 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 804 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 621 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,887 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | クス | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | s1 | 58% | 71 |
| #3 | シム | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | NiX | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | vetle | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | クス | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | s1 | 58% | 71 |
| #3 | シム | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | NiX | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | vetle | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1 | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | vetle | 3 | 0.0231 |
| #3 | シム | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | NiX | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | クス | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1 | 101 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | シム | 86 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | NiX | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | クス | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | vetle | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1 | +2.56 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | シム | +1.67 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | Quintavius Obamaneisha | +1.44 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | vetle | -0.37 | 75 | 45 |
| #5 | NiX | -2.17 | 45 | 34 |





