








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1094 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 988 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,298 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | シム | 49% | 149 |
| #6 | s1 | 48% | 79 |
| #7 | vetle | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | Young Tug | 36% | 36 |
| #9 | лучший ноб | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シム | 24 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | vetle | 6 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | s1 | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Young Tug | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | bot | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シム | 437 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | s1 | 102 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Young Tug | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Quintavius Obamaneisha | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | vetle | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シム | +2.59 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | s1 | +1.46 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | Quintavius Obamaneisha | +1.06 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | bot | +1.01 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | vetle | +0.11 | 84 | 48 |





