










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 392 | 15% |
| Smokes | 573 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 888 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 702 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,877 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brewmaster enthusiast | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Duchys | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Ondraai! | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | pitaskA | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | Kolmice | 43% | 30 |





