








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3058 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2306 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3228 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2363 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,451,853 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fsk | 70% | 84 |
| #2 | 7071NH0 | 66% | 111 |
| #3 | sad :] | 66% | 70 |
| #4 | JoySn0w | 62% | 182 |
| #5 | KayfuNK | 57% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sad :] | 66% | 70 |
| #4 | JoySn0w | 62% | 182 |
| #5 | KayfuNK | 57% | 179 |
| #6 | CACHi | 56% | 335 |
| #7 | KuestioN | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CACHi | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | KayfuNK | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | JoySn0w | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | 7071NH0 | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | KuestioN | 6 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CACHi | 1039 | 0.15 | 28 min |
| #2 | KayfuNK | 752 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | fsk | 411 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #4 | JoySn0w | 376 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | 7071NH0 | 337 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fsk | +3.58 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | 7071NH0 | +1.43 | 52 | 80 |
| #3 | must4chex1- 惨い - | +0.86 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | JoySn0w | +0.35 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | CACHi | -0.23 | 58 | 73 |





