








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 862 | 28% |
| Smokes | 758 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 966 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,954 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fsk | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | JoySn0w | 71% | 52 |
| #3 | must4chex1- 惨い - | 66% | 70 |
| #4 | CACHi | 60% | 83 |
| #5 | 7071NH0 | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | must4chex1- 惨い - | 66% | 70 |
| #4 | CACHi | 60% | 83 |
| #5 | 7071NH0 | 59% | 39 |
| #6 | KuestioN | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | KayfuNK | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KuestioN | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | CACHi | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | must4chex1- 惨い - | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | 7071NH0 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | JoySn0w | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CACHi | 280 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | KayfuNK | 202 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | must4chex1- 惨い - | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | 7071NH0 | 113 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | JoySn0w | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fsk | +4.41 | 76 | 78 |
| #2 | 7071NH0 | +2.14 | 61 | 81 |
| #3 | JoySn0w | +2.03 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | must4chex1- 惨い - | +1.92 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | CACHi | +0.53 | 56 | 77 |





