








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 31% |
| Smokes | 628 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 113 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 330 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $44,388 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smeagol | 43% | 47 |
| #2 | Bob Uchiha | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | DangerousDoc | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | Dollliee. | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Tyrant | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DangerousDoc | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | Dollliee. | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Tyrant | 35% | 23 |
| #6 | fuspuss | 24% | 21 |
| #7 | Rub | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DangerousDoc | 4 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | fuspuss | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | smeagol | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Dollliee. | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smeagol | 52 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | fuspuss | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dollliee. | 28 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tyrant | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | DangerousDoc | 17 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rub | +3.18 | 69 | 48 |
| #2 | DangerousDoc | +1.10 | 46 | 59 |
| #3 | Dollliee. | +0.58 | 44 | 64 |
| #4 | smeagol | +0.24 | 54 | 30 |
| #5 | The Gambler | -0.46 | 38 | 45 |





