








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 461 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2363 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4863 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3372 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4031 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,615,724 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dollliee. | 46% | 197 |
| #2 | memphis | 45% | 38 |
| #3 | DangerousDoc | 45% | 101 |
| #4 | Tyrant | 43% | 37 |
| #5 | smeagol | 41% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | memphis | 45% | 38 |
| #3 | DangerousDoc | 45% | 101 |
| #4 | Tyrant | 43% | 37 |
| #5 | smeagol | 41% | 161 |
| #6 | fuspuss | 38% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DangerousDoc | 17 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | smeagol | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | fuspuss | 11 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Dollliee. | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Tyrant | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dollliee. | 759 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | DangerousDoc | 182 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | fuspuss | 165 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | smeagol | 104 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | memphis | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | memphis | +2.95 | 83 | 50 |
| #2 | Rub | +1.65 | 71 | 45 |
| #3 | DangerousDoc | +0.98 | 51 | 57 |
| #4 | Dollliee. | -0.72 | 34 | 71 |
| #5 | smeagol | -2.11 | 51 | 31 |





