








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 594 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8808 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6365 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4552 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4089 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,771,566 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 72% | 50 |
| #2 | InFLuenCE | 67% | 46 |
| #3 | :] | 54% | 668 |
| #4 | ;) | 51% | 140 |
| #5 | auut | ? | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | InFLuenCE | 67% | 46 |
| #3 | :] | 54% | 668 |
| #4 | ;) | 51% | 140 |
| #5 | auut | ? | 45% | 40 |
| #6 | Senz | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | 145 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Senz | 12 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | ;) | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | auut | ? | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | 2029 | 0.15 | 54 min |
| #2 | ;) | 223 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Senz | 161 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 137 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | InFLuenCE | 57 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | +3.32 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | InFLuenCE | +2.25 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | :[ | +1.65 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | +1.46 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Senz | -0.04 | 53 | 58 |





