








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2069 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 666 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5921 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3996 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5584 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4563 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,927,754 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | InFLuenCE | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | :[ | 54% | 668 |
| #4 | auut | ? | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | ;) | 48% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | InFLuenCE | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | :[ | 54% | 668 |
| #4 | auut | ? | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | ;) | 48% | 139 |
| #6 | Senz | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :[ | 69 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Senz | 11 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | ;) | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | auut | ? | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :[ | 2609 | 0.19 | 66 min |
| #2 | ;) | 218 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Senz | 182 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | auut | ? | 87 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | +3.41 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | InFLuenCE | +2.09 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | :[ | +1.55 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | +1.42 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Senz | +0.31 | 54 | 61 |





