








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2284 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2351 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1674 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1612 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,914 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBBER | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | waka waka aye ay | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | RASK | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Ydera | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | - Bare Gammel | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ydera | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | - Bare Gammel | 49% | 47 |
| #6 | Carlsssen | 48% | 89 |
| #7 | Zoccres | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | Beter | 46% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beter | 23 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Carlsssen | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Ydera | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | EBBER | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | - Bare Gammel | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beter | 370 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Carlsssen | 127 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ydera | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | waka waka aye ay | 56 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | - Bare Gammel | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoccres | +2.47 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | bRONU | +1.56 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | Carlsssen | +1.39 | 63 | 52 |
| #4 | - Bare Gammel | +0.74 | 52 | 59 |
| #5 | Beter | -0.98 | 59 | 60 |





