








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3748 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4625 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2843 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1159 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,142 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoccres | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | - Bare Gammel | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | EBBER | 51% | 79 |
| #4 | bRONU | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | Beter | 46% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bRONU | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | Beter | 46% | 91 |
| #6 | Augi | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Carlsssen | 40% | 42 |
| #8 | waka waka aye ay | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beter | 15 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | bRONU | 11 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | EBBER | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Zoccres | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Carlsssen | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beter | 271 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | bRONU | 237 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | waka waka aye ay | 95 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zoccres | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Carlsssen | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoccres | +4.01 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | bRONU | +1.89 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | - Bare Gammel | +1.48 | 52 | 62 |
| #4 | Carlsssen | +0.93 | 64 | 48 |
| #5 | waka waka aye ay | -0.14 | 63 | 49 |





